Social Security disability (2018 with 2021 update)

It took 3 years to get disability and we finally did it. That’s redundant, but I’m not feeling particularly grammarly today.

What happens when you get disability? Well, if someone in the household already is on disability, it means a trip to social services to find out what services you’ll lose now that you are AT the poverty level. So strange. We have our income doubled, sounds amazing, eh? And then you realize that double is poverty level. NC has weird rules about what social services you can receive and the bar is set very high for those in need.

This morning on the way to the VA, oh there’s another story. The VA. It took FOUR years for R to get an appointment with a primary care provider. FOUR years, yup, you read that correctly. Anyway, on the way to the VA today, a man with a puppy on a leash and a small boy were crossing the street. Of course, I stopped to let them cross. He waved. I noticed, to my left, a large semi-truck and in the cab a woman was pulling pillows out and putting them away. That’s when I realized this family must live in the cab. We then talked about homelessness and how there are tens of thousands of people without shelter. I know the area, around New Bern and Kinston, that got flooded must have many people without shelter, it’s not just a national statistic.

Now we go back to the four years to get an appointment story. The medical facility we are told to go to? It’s here in town and even with an appointment, the average waiting room wait is 2 hours. Imagine that? I don’t understand how this place works but you have to go there, you can’t say “no” to an appointment you’ve waited four years to get. So we’ll be prepared to sit, I’ll charge up my phone so I can play spades and R’s phone will be charged so he can read/watch videos. We’ll be prepared.

I have a dilemma. A friend with no financial wherewithal at this time and no, absolutely no, visible means of support looming in her future has a non-functioning Chromebook. Her life is wrapped up in her Chromebook. Videos, reading, entertainment — she has no other way to entertain or inform herself. A new Chromebook costs around $150 and we could, conceivably, charge one for her. But the questions … I don’t know this woman other than our online friendship. I sent her money earlier this month to buy groceries. She is a shut in up in a northern state. I don’t know her. I feel for her… but as soon as I began to consider buying one for her, my thoughts went to Caroline. If I have $150 it needs to go to Caroline to buy her a new battery for her truck. And I’m going to insist she let us buy her one — so there’s the $150. Not on an unknown, but on a known. Gosh I feel sorry for my internet friend but I can’t help her. I have to think of my own family first. This is tragic for her but I don’t know her except online. How sad is that? She knows I can’t buy it for her.

So that’s sad.

Today I take neighbor Fred to take photos down by the estuary. It’ll be a nice afternoon jaunt and we’ll take some good photos. He wants to take shots of a particular little area down by the museum. I’m hoping to go to the ship’s store afterwards for something sweet, either ice cream or fudge. My treat.

Best get myself ready to go… Fred’s going to be looking for me soon.

March 3, 2021

I supported my northern friend for over a year, around $175 a month, trying to keep her fed and ok (and we did buy her a Chromebook and a Kindle Fire over that time). The idea was that she would become a resident of RI and receive aid from the state. She never applied for residency status, never filled in the online forms or called social services. She became irate and cursed me and that was the end of the gravy train. I was giving her money for everything from Uber Eats to new clothes every few days, I averaged over $250 a month in giving to her. It was hard letting the relationship go as we spoke, online every day. She was like a habit, a bad one, but still, I don’t regret financing her food/life for a couple years. I know I helped, I know she bought food, I know her situation is dire but I also know I cannot fix or change it any longer. She is not part of our lives at all, I basically ghosted her.

The mother in law did indeed move to FL and we have been relieved ever since. No contact since that drunken day in person, she does not have our phone number so there’s only email and that’s not working as we don’t answer. Another person we’ve ghosted and are better for it.

Fred moved to Michigan and we miss him every damn day. Losing him really hurt. He emails sporadically and calls even more infrequently. He’s settled down up there and while he’s lonely, he gets son John on the weekends and will probably enjoy nice spring weather up there, new bugs to find, new moths to film, other birds… they do go for nature walks and will be able to resume that soon, now that the weather is getting warmer. He last wrote that it was 40 degrees and they were having a heat wave. Like I said, I miss him all the time. I miss our walks, our photography lessons.

I’ve received both my Pfizer Covid vaccinations and it’s been 2 weeks since my second one so I’m safe now. What a relief. I’ll still wear a mask, and do as told by the CDC, but I have no fear. I hope Rob gets vaccinated soon, Biden administration announced yesterday that there would be enough vaccines for entire US by end of May. This is extraordinary news. I hope and hope, but Rob bought a really good mask with filters and tight fit and he doesn’t feel scared any more, his fear mostly came from him being afraid he’d get sick and give it to me, not fear for himself. Daughter had Covid, so did her step-daughter but others tested negative.

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About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration. Also archivist and avid fan of The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature.


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